Relationship SOS

Every serious relationship, whether it be a brand new couple or a long term marriage will experience ups and downs. However successful couples learn how to manage the bumps and navigate through the difficult times before they escalate. If your relationship has hit a rough patch then you’ve come to the right place. Listed below are 7 of the most common problems couples encounter and a range of solutions to overcome them.


Problem: Communication


1.) Make an actual time slot in the day when you guys can communicate with each other with no distractions. For instance if you live together, put your smartphones on vibrate, put the kids to bed, and let voicemail pick up your calls.


2.) If you can't "communicate" without raising your voices, then go to a public spot like the library, park, or restaurant where you'd be embarrassed if anyone saw you screaming.


3.) Try not to interrupt your partner until they’ve finished speaking and ban phrases such as "You always ..." or "You never ...."


4.) Use body language to show you're listening. Don’t look at your phone or appear preoccupied whilst your partner is talking. Nod and respond appropriately so they know you're getting the message.


Problem: Lack of Intimacy


1.) Be spontaneous. Don’t fall into a routine with sex as the excitement will quickly go and it will seem more like a chore.


2.) Learn what truly turns you and your partner on. Talk to each other and be honest about your likes and dislikes.


3.) If your sexual relationship problems can't be resolved on your own then don’t give up. Don’t be afraid or embarrassed to consult a qualified sex therapist to help you. It may be the best decision you ever make.


4.) Go out of your way to show affection to your partner. Kisses, cuddles, and hugs can go a long way to making the other person feel wanted.


Problem: Money


1.) Be honest about your current financial situation. If things are going downhill then you both need to agree on changing your lifestyle to reflect your finances.


2.) Acknowledge that one partner may be a saver and one a spender, understand there are benefits to both, and agree to learn from each other's tendencies.


3.) Don't hide income or debt. Always be open and honest about your current financial situation with one another.



4.) If you are in financial difficultly make a plan together to overcome this. If you can’t see anyway to get yourselves back on track then seek out professional advice from your bank.


Problem: Other People


1.) Listen to your heart. It’s perfectly fine to take on board advice from other people when it comes to your partner and your relationship. However never let this over rule your own thoughts, feelings, and beliefs. 


2.) Block out the people who are completely unsupportive. If there are people who are constantly putting you, your partner, or your relationship down then block them out from your life. 



3.) Try to make things amicable. If you or your partner don’t seem to get on with a particular friend or family member from the opposite side then go out of your way to build bridges. Try to organise a get together where the two people who don’t get on can have a chance to sort things out. Life is so much easier when you and your partner can both get on with each others friends and family.


Problem: Not Making Time for Each Other


1.) Do the things you used to do when you were first dating: Show appreciation, compliment each other, contact each other through the day, and show interest in each other.


2.) Plan date nights. Schedule time together on the calendar just as you would any other important event in your life.



3.) Be spontaneous every now and then. You don’t have to wait for birthdays, valentines day, or anniversaries to do things together. Pick an activity to do on a random week night and go and have some fun together. 


Problem: Resolving Arguments


1.) Be honest with yourself. When you're in the midst of an argument, are your comments geared toward resolving the conflict, or are you looking for payback? If your comments are blaming and hurtful, it's best to take a deep breath and change your strategy.


2.) Don’t bring up things from the past and refrain from using statements such as "You always ..." or "You never ...."


3.) Change how you deal with arguments. If you continue to respond in the way that's brought you pain and unhappiness in the past, you can't expect a different result this time. Just one little shift can make a big difference. If you usually jump right in to defend yourself before your partner is finished speaking, hold off for a few moments. You'll be surprised at how such a small shift in tempo can change the whole tone of an argument.



4.)When you are both calm, be sure to apologise for the disagreement even if you believe your partner was in the wrong. Try to end all disagreements or arguments on a positive note.


Problem: Trust


1.) Make sure you actions match your words.


2.) Keep your partner updated with last minute changes, even if it will annoy them.


3.) Don't lie. Not even little white lies. This is because they may start out innocent and not a big deal. But the more you lie the more comfortable you will get doing this and it will become a more frequent thing.


4.) Be sensitive to the other's feelings. You can still disagree, but don't discount how your partner is feeling.


5.) Don't play on your partners insecurities.


6.) Don't bring up things from the past. If you’ve forgiven them and moved on then leave the hurtful things behind you both.


7.) Respect your partner's boundaries.


8.) Always be there for them when they really need you or are going through a difficult time.